A RWANDAN WEDDING

Something so cool happened to me on my travels back home from Rwanda and I still don’t quite know what I want to say about it. We flew back the seven or eight hours to Brussels for a four-hour layover. While waiting in that airport, I made my way to a Starbucks to begin my process of breaking down over the amount of food options (it would get really intense following seven more hours when I finally arrived in Chicago, back in a country of endless food options!). Anyway, I waited patiently in line and overheard a woman behind me talking about how much she missed Bourbon Coffee. My heart lit up in recognition of the Nakumatt, adventures with Peter in Kigali, and sweet memories. I turned around and started a conversation. 

The woman I met was a second-year medical student in the United States. She was from Rwanda and ventured back and forth between these two countries every other year; and recently, she had just married! I met her husband at that point and reveled in their love story. They had known each other for eight years, both of similar life situations, restrained by the situations that meant they couldn’t be wed yet: jobs, interviews for school, family separations. But here they were, finally together! I sat down with the woman and her husband, flipping through all of the photos they had taken in Kigali. I hadn’t witnessed an actual wedding in Rwanda (note: okay, maybe that one time) so I felt like I, in that moment, was experiencing my final bit of Rwandan culture for years to come. 

It was a marriage! A marriage between the United States and Rwanda, between two cultures, two people caught in the middle of entirely different, shared experiences. It reminded me of something straight out of Ngozi’s Americanah and just as beautiful because they were real people. I wanted to wait to write about this because I remember not knowing what to say, just feeling so many warm thoughts swimming through my heart. I’m in the same place today, pondering future US-Rwanda relations and the individual narratives that effortlessly lift themselves halfway across the world. I’m very grateful for all of these people who’ve invited me into their worlds like this! 

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ABOUT P.R.E.F.E.R.

The story of P.R.E.F.E.R. really begins with the story of Cathy Emmerson, who arrived in 2001 out of a curiosity and has done nothing but good work since. With Cathy’s endless work and dedication, P.R.E.F.E.R. (Poverty Reduction Education Family Empowerment Rwanda) has donated over 3,000 goats to families across the Musanze. Anywhere you go, Cathy is noticed for her good work or thanked because she’s helped empower a family to pursue an education or learn how to build conflict-resolution strategies. The preschool of P.R.E.F.E.R. started off as two tarped classrooms and Cathy now has a full property with a handful of classrooms, a feeding area for the children, a playing area, and a trade school on the way. This organization accepts volunteers to help the teachers who guide their students to a better life everyday. And this happens all at a minimal fee to the parents compared to neighboring schools! P.R.E.F.E.R. is perfection and magic all in one! 

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Themes and Gaps

Looking back through my blog, I’ve realized that I didn’t record my little learning moments. For example, in the plainest language, I was terrified of being sexually assaulted before I left. This was a very real anxiety, a concern articulated by so many of my family members and friends. I didn’t realize that it influenced the way I communicated with people until Peter brought it up to me;  because of my inherent fear, I would avoid looking men in the eye, side step people to avoid walking too close to somebody else, and would just seem frazzled. But by the end of my experience, I was maybe one of those people invading other peoples’ personal spaces! I realized that personal boundaries are just entirely different over there; and my fear of being assault, while still deserving truth and weight, shouldn’t have impacted by ability to connect with other people. I let go as much of this fear as my soul would allow and felt a lot lighter in my interactions with people! And I think that’s a trait about me, freedom to connect and communicate, fearlessness, that I’ve brought home with me from this summer. 

I’ve also neglected to record a lot of the finer details about metaphysics and philosophy that Peter and I had during our service. I hold these conversations dearly and thank Peter will all my heart for allowing us to grow together and to challenge one another like so! 

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ENVELOPE #11: ONE DAY BEFORE TAKEOFF

Prompt: What connections do you see between the societal issues you addressed in-country and your life in the United States? How has your time as a Loewenstern Fellow helped clarify this connection for you? 

Wealth disparity, inequality for women and unequal pay and opportunity, alcohol abuse, inadequate access to resources for those in poverty, minimal access to higher education because of tuition, lack of mental health care coverage and resources. These are issues that people here have stated Rwanda faces; these are issues that my state and every other state in America faces. These are issues that are faced around the world, at varying lengths; I exchange with the people I speak with that we are not so different back home, that America is not a land wherein one steps off the plane and everything shines and everyone gets money. It’s a land where many are wrong, where justice can sometimes be corrupt, but a land where we aspire towards a civil society of optimistic, hard-working community leaders. 

Every country in the world has its problems. Some societal issues take higher priority than others within a country; some are addressed; and some are never addressed, leaving people to clamber up another avenue to find the proper care and solace they seek. In the case of Rwandan pre-Univeristy education, it’s quite clear that there’s a need for assistance currently because the Rwandan government’s unveiling a wonderful and pronounced plan to get young people in school, staying there to educate themselves and craft for themselves a brighter future. This transition into new education requirements had to be quick and tough because this is perhaps the only way efficient change would come about in time to impact an entire generation. Many here believe it’s working, and will continue working hard to be part of this great educational change though it’s jarring. Teachers work hard despite pressing adversity because they see it’s worth it for their students. 

In the same way, many aspiring scholars in the United States are working to reform education. There are necessary arguments in every local city government about what classes should be required in a middle school education or how we can systematically work to reduce the mounting costs of university tuition here. Curriculum developers have to be able to turn their work over on the fly and implement new initiatives that integrate new ideas into the lessons of counties of educators nationwide. Ultimately, at the heart of all this change and bustle is the genuine good intention to help students learn the most they can in these crucial developing years. 

My Loewenstern experience has bolstered my ability to see people in an entirely different light. Yet my Loewenstern time has also taught me that people can be so similar despite our differences: humor and hope are shared human traits that transcend any national or ethnic boundary we could have constructed. It’s easy to see how I can continue my service of working with young education or how I can fight in higher courts to develop more access to educational resources for counties around the country. This experience helps me translate the work for education going on in the United States currently, especially with the upcoming election and those who seek to state their promise of change for students all around America. It’s new insight, a compare and contrast, after living in a new country that helps one frame the experience of what’s happening in the home country and how to help those efforts. 

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ENVELOPE #10: ONE DAY AFTER THE LAST QUESTION

Prompt: Are you still wondering if your service / research is making a difference? If “yes,” what steps can you take in your remaining time to change the outcome of your experience, either for yourself or the community? If “no,” how can you make the most of your remaining time? What changes can you make to have an even greater impact? 

Because our service was so direct in the first place, there was never quite a moment where I pondered the value of our volunteer work. Everyday, you see the students trying to connect to us or at least attentive when we’re trying to have a lesson. Even on days when it felt like the students didn’t entirely get the lesson, I had faith that they at least learned something new or that the teacher could take away something of our lesson for their own teaching style. I would really have to ponder the value of my service for myself and the host agency if we hadn’t come prepared at all and were constantly struggling to figure out how to teach the children and the sixth graders. Or if we just didn’t try our best on a daily basis. 

As for the portion about how to have a major impact during our remaining time, I think the time period beginning the preschooler’s last week of school speaks the most here for me. Even though we had about a week left with the students, to be honest we had to accept that being flexible was part of being a good volunteer here. We had many lessons planned and crammed into this past week, but the reality of the situation was that our students had exams and it wouldn’t have been a productive time to fit in the lessons that we really wanted to do. So we accepted being flexible, helping with their exams instead, knowing that we were being the best volunteer we could be by providing what the teachers needed in those busy moments of the last week of school: facilitating exams, organizing paperwork, writing names on papers, etc. Having an impact is about working directly with the people you wish to help and appreciating what they most need from you, not what you want to do for your own pride or planning. So we definitely had a good lesson in flexibility and the nature of impact that last week! 

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ENVELOPE #9: PONDERING THE VALUE OF SERVICE

Prompt: How do you measure your successes on a daily basis? How does your host agency measure successes over a longer period of time? How do your daily successes impact their overall success? Do you believe you’re making a difference? 

It was a bit difficult to quantify success here on a daily basis. My thinking was just that I should strive to put my best foot forward everyday – working harder to memorize names, assisting Teacher Nadine in the classroom, modifying lessons the week before so they would become more relatable and more understandable for our sixth-grade students. Success with the sixth-graders meant measuring their improvement from week-to-week, really aspiring to make sure they left that classroom with the firm knowledge of the differences of L and R or how to sound words out to better spell them. 

When we go out into market, Cathy will see so many of her past students who’ve gone onto primary school throughout the years. This must be such a fulfilling experience for her; she sees those kids smiling and you must know instantly that you’ve had a genuine impact on somebody’s life. You know instantly that the years of hard work you’ve put towards such a tremendous project are truly manifesting in not just the students but the people of a larger community. People all over the place in Musanze, and beyond, know Cathy and are delighted to see her again and thank you for something incredible she did for their child a day ago or years ago. That’s profound community-building that I aspire to one day in my life too!

Cathy thanked us for our work, too! Peter and I firmly believe we’ve made a difference in not Rwanda or the whole Musanze community, but rather on the teaching style of teachers who will continue in their professions for generations. We taught techniques that would help them teach the children how to read easier, and to have had such an impact in such a crucial way warms my heart. With all of the games and activities that we supplied with our binders, and Peter with all of his super neat science activities that are now at the school, we’re proud and confident in saying that we’ve made the difference we were capable of making with hard work, preparation, and flexibility. 

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ENVELOPE #8 : ETHICAL PHOTOGRAPHY

Prompt: Pick 3-4 pictures that reflect ethical photography to post to your blog. What do these pictures represent? Why are they examples of ethical photography?

Our obsession with ethical photography has been an ongoing reflection that Peter and I share. For context, and for those who may not know what ethical photography means, the term seeks to engage its audience in questions about when, as an outsider coming into a community, we can take photos of the people and places we serve. The term explore why we take the pictures we do and how those portrait narratives further construct the perceptions of a community that we form for those observing our photography or our works. 

Before embarking on our fellowship, our Loewenstern class had a lesson about ethical photography taught by the phenomenal Yehuda Sharim. This educator delved into what we must recognize as we take photos abroad: the history of our host country with our residing country, pre-trip knowledge and education, and the importance of how we frame our experiences to compliment the words we express with those photos. It should all be about “what I  experienced in Rwanda” so we don’t generalize Rwanda as a whole with our photos. It’s about breaking the cultural narrative and expectancy of our audience who expects certain factors and conditions from Rwanda. Ethical photography is all about being aware of what we’re posting, reflecting before and after posting pictures, and what space we’re posting these pictures in. 

There was an overall assumption vociferated by our colleagues and friends that we’d have a “harder” time in Africa than our other fellows. People thought all we would eat was potatoes and beans. Our friends would tell us “oh please be safe, you know they have diseases and the water’s dirty” or people would claim that they know “those dirty children can’t be good.” A lot of the sentiments expressed by our friends and family came with a good intention that had a horrifying impact: these assumptions of Rwanda are what perpetuate, in our mindsets and American / western ideology, the framework of disadvantage and destitution that assist in marring Africa’s development. 

So we set out to challenge this mindset. We were selective in our photographs but also tried to portray the holistic essence of our experience. The food we eat in our photos is colorful, delicious and diverse; the children in the school are all wearing shoes, all are clean, and many have beautiful backpacks that were woven by hand. If children are “dirty in the street” it’s honestly because children here play football off the curb of their wonderful houses, which of course are by the dirt because the land of a thousand hills has a lot of dust in their soil (it’s dry season) that contributes to the extremely fertile land. Their moms would give them a shower the very next morning or that night. But people don’t know this or think about this. There are so many expected narratives that we sought to break with our photos. 

So much of our service was about forming a relationship with the people we’re fortunate to work with: the school, the students, the teachers, and Cathy too! The pictures of our students on our blog are there because we formed that relationship with them and have names to connect with the faces. We met many more children than those portrayed in the picture when we biked somewhere or walked down the street; but we would never post photos with these people because we didn’t take time to form the same type of relationship. Finally, all of our pictures of children are posted solely to our blogs, where we delve into the story behind those photos. It’s the words that bring back the life of those children and our days in our memories; it’s the photos that show the beautiful face written in the words. This is our form of ethical photography to share with those willing to read about and listen to our experiences. 

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AKAGERA!

Cathy surprised us with an incredible trip to AKAGERA! She treated us to our own private driver, our safari passes, and a hotel stay next to Akagera, as well! We are incredibly grateful to her for this experience! Peter and I knew we would do no safari-type of activities in Africa because we thought we would have no money to do so; this is the same way that we knew gorilla trekking would be out of the picture. This was such an amazing surprise at the end of the term and of service and I couldn’t contain my excitement! 

This Rwandan National Park is close to the border of Tanzania. We drove two hours from Musanze to Kigali and then another three or four hours to the actual park itself. The soil becomes a vibrant red and the roads begin to pan out so it’s quite a bumpy ride; our driver actually called it an “African massage” with all of the bumps on the way there! Anyway, once we checked into the park and then into the hotel, we went on an enthralling five-hour safari in the park. Because it’s dry season, all of the larger animals (giraffe, elephant, zebra) move to the northern-most tip of the park where the big bodies of water are, and to even reach that tip, one-way, would have been a seven-hour drive. We decided that that was ultimately too much stress and strain on our driver, who had drove us there the whole morning. But we still had such an amazing time observing the hippos, the elephants that were still there in the distance, the impalas, the monkeys, and an array of other animals! Our driver had a Land Cruiser whose roof would pop open, so Peter and I were standing out of the car, watching animals, and taking in the beautiful scenery!

The hotel also had a vibrant pool, wifi for pretty much every single room, and an enormous buffet breakfast that was (free!) I found it funny that I must have looked so scrubby and teen-like when I went down for breakfast the next day (at about 6:30 A.M. or so – still on service time!) He asked me, “Do you go to this hotel?” Which I found so funny for multiple reasons. I’m confused for Rwandan quite often here because I am black, and at this park there are no Rwandans because it’s far too expensive. And then I was just there so early. Or maybe I just looked really hungry. No matter the situation, the food was wonderful and the customer service was also excellent. Afterwards, our driver took us back to a relaxing day in Musanze. 

We are so so so grateful to Cathy for this experience! I highly recommend anyone to go to Akagera if they ever get a chance to in Rwanda. We definitely had an amazing time!

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ENVELOPE #7 : ONE WEEK OUT

Prompt: Whose responsibility is it to alleviate the conditions caused by the social issues / research you are addressing? What can they do? (One week to conclusion of fellowship) 

There’s a combination of educational qualms Peter and I tried to keep in mind when preparing for our service: the issue of repeat route memorization for children, a quickly-changing curriculum, and a lack of teachers that now need to know English to continue in their professions. These are consequences that were brought on by a radical change to Rwandan education for the better; yes, these are difficult conditions to contend with for many teachers, but Rwanda’s reaching a stage where classroom chairs are filled 95% of the time and people are pursuing more than just a P4 education or staying at home versus working. The challenges faced by teachers are alleviated a tad bit by the role of outside volunteers who can implement new teaching styles and English into the curriculum, but it’s certainly not the role of the outsider to try to change things. 

It’s up to the Rwandan Minister of Education and other incredible Rwandans working hard to train teachers and help them adjust to these sweeping changes. Patience, a masters student / banker who was once a teacher at P.R.E.F.E.R., visited Cathy the other day to tell her that he was conducting his thesis on the value of a preschool education on the local community in Musanze, Rwanda. This is incredible. The impact of his research has the power to validate the importance of education back to high-ranking government officers who can then use that research to support current teachers. This way, teachers don’t get put out of their jobs because of a difficult adjustment; and this way, the merits of even a young preschool education are elucidated upon and therefore further supported by the government. This is an example of how a Rwandan can work from inside his community with research and education to really bolster the stability of educators within that community. 

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ENVELOPE #6 : AN EMOTIONAL DAY

Prompt: What prompted such a strong emotional response in you today? Will this change the nature of your relationship with a specific individual, the community, or your host agency, and if so, how?

Today was the last day with the preschoolers. It signaled the end of our official service. Tuzabonana, or see you later, to the marvelous teachers and students we’ve had the fortune of forming relationships with for over five weeks. 

Objectively, here’s what happened: the day doesn’t quite start until 9:30 A.M instead of 8:00 A.M. Then, preschoolers trickle into the school, wearing their best clothing with a huge smile. They don’t come alone, either: their parents and their siblings come along, waiting in the shaded beautiful bungaloo Cathy has next to the school itself. Classroom by classroom, the students come out, performing a set of activities that shows how much those students have learned. The fourth-graders performed a hilarious dialogue where they screamed, in pairs, this: “HI HOW ARE YOU?” “I’M FINE THANK YOU; HOW ARE YOU?” “I’M FINE. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?” “MY NAME IS SAMILLAH.” “OK BYE!” And then they recited their alphabet, Kinyarwandan and English, and then a set of numbers and so forth. Their parents are cheering, people are taking pictures on nice camera phone and even a DSLR, and at some point a student freezes up but then remembers their performance just fine!

Eventually, our students went up. They recited their numbers from 1-30, their alphabets, songs that socialize them for the world ahead. And then, when we thought it was over, they started singing songs that we had taught them… and performing activities that we had taught them, too! Afterwards, the parents come into the classroom to take their child’s report card and inspect what the learning environment is for their kids. Six-foot-four dads are sitting on preschool chairs, placing their daughters on their laps, looking through their papers and praising them for their progress. Parents look just like their children, siblings like the students, and that’s when we just overflowed with emotion. Because at that point, the parents see us and they’re smiling and they’re waving! The preschoolers go home and some tell their parents of everything that happens in the day, so they’re finally forming a connection with face and what their kid has been saying; and you can see the joy on their faces to meet us and see us in person. 

And then the kids go home by 11:00. 

They don’t understand that we’re not coming back for next term. They don’t know that this will be the last time we see them. 

And it’s better that way – because they’re smiling as they hold their parent’s or their brother’s hands, saying good bye to us for the day. They don’t know yet what that means for us. But they’re so happy because they’re worked so hard and they deserve a brilliant vacation. And Peter and I are a bit of an emotional mess when the students leave, because then we’re having our final moments with Teacher Nadine, Teacher Sam, Teacher Thomas and Teacher Vienney. We’re talking about what everyone will do for the two-week vacation: how some will pursue more schooling, how some will go work at a nonprofit organization to make more money and fill the time. Everyone’s going to go off and do productive and meaningful things with their time, and then it was eventually our turn to do that too. 

I can write this twenty times over and still not say the extent of what I felt in those last few moments. Teacher Nadine kept waving at us even after she reached the gate. We reached a point where we could no longer see one another. And we let each other go. 

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